30/10/2009
Yesterday went to school and get my report book. I failed my maths by 8marks. :( school was normal yesterday. After school, went home to change and prepare. Meet friends at cc and balling! After balling, went to coffeeshop and slack, talk. :D friend drive me home because he was taking cab. Hmm, home sweet home. Bathe and stuffs. Suddenly feel hungry and went to search for food. House got nothing to eat, so i stay inside my room and use computer. Use until about 10.25pm? Fall asleep and till 1 plus. Replied friend message and went back to sleep again. :D hah! (70days)

31/10/2009
Woke up at about 2 plus. prepare and went home at 3 plus. I'm late for my training. Darn tired, no time to eat also. Reach there. Start my warm up and everything. Run for the formation and 5 on 5 started. Play and play, got scolded by coach. For joking, everyone started to get serious. Finished playing, talk about out attitude and performance! :D haha! Wasn't that great. Tomorrow got friendly in the afternoon. Wish me lucks alright. Still having fever. And, a bad news! I sprained my ankle. :( byebye. going to my friend funeral. (71days)

Hello! :D so fast, tomorrow is the last day of school. Need to go back school and get my result, hmm. Talk about today, wake up at 7.17pm. Darn tired. Wake up, prepare and changed. Went to friend house just now. After friend house, cabbed down to zhenghua for friend cousin funeral! Ohmy, he is 21 years old and just passed away just because bike accident. :( after the funeral, went home straight. While walking home, was feeling kinda hungry. Reach home order mac before having my shower. :) after having my mac, watch tv and blogger. Boring. Going to bed soon, i got school tomorrow! Facebook is driving me crazy. Okay, is late. I got to get some sleep now. Bye! (69days)

I really love you, will you give me one chance to prove to you? I still can't give up on you, can't give up at all. I don't know why, you know i love you and yet, you still can contact guy. I really love you. One chance and i'll prove how much i love you. Sigh (67days) Don't do this to me can.

I don't want to continue this. I hate this kind of feeling. Hmm, i everyday sleep at 6am plus in the morning. I woke at around afternoon. When i close my eyes, i will start to imagine stuffs. I can only drink cough syrup to make myself feel sleepy and i can fall sleep easily. Tournaments are starting soon in 2 weeks time. Sigh, i really don't feel like playing already. The feel is not there, i scare i can't help the team. But, i don't know how to tell my coach because he got high expectations on me. Hmm, currently listening to (hurt so bad) This song is meaningful okay! I hope she is doing well and don't drink too much. It's not good health. (66days)
(Facebook quiz)> Born on 31st
You are a simple and honest person. You don't like too many frills. You have a creative mind. If you channel your talents in the right direction, you can go places. You have a warm and compassionate personality which others like very much. You are easily approachable. You need a lot of time to commit in a relationship. You do not get too possessive
(Facebook quiz)> Born on 27th
You have an attractive and vibrant personality. You are a social animal and like to party. You make new friends very easily. You are known for your good sense of humor. At times, you are very obstinate. You can forgive but you not forget easily. In your love life, you tend to be choosy in your search for the perfect partner.

Why must you be like this? I hate this kind of feeling. Tomorrow there's training. I don't know whether i should go or not. Sigh. Everything is like changing so fast. I don't know why, friends are advising me to give up. Some wanted me to wait, people say you're not good and want me to give up. People told me you're good and want me to give you more time. Why must i be the one doing all this? I told you before! You are the red rose, standing tall among the white rose. I've decided, you're the perfect one for me. But, i might not be the perfect one for you. Hmm, Someone told me you contact this guy. And, i know him. Fine, i know i got no right to ask about it. )': I'm speechless. 5more days for me to consider. Once again, i was hurt by you deeply! ): (65days)


我感动天 感动地 怎么感动不了你!?

Just got home from after a tough training. Get scolded by the coach for not performing well because my mind got so much stuffs. During training, when we run. I was the first to reach, but today everything seems to be so different. I don't know how to say. Its just so different. I was showing coach attitude and didn't want to play anymore. I was sub out and sit at a corner watching my teammates playing. Everyone can perform so well except me. Tournament are starting soon. If i really can't perform like how yesterday i was. Running up and down when i was really tired and i endure the whole game throughout the 1st quater to the 4th quater. I guess, even if the coach put me in the team. I will also not play. I will let other people take over me, hmm. I did not get a real answer but she did hint me. Sigh. I know what she mean and.. Its over! Wanted to have dinner with my teammates, but i got no appetite so i went home alone. That's all! :'(


After reading your blog, seeing you inside the photo smiling so happily. I'm also happy. I don't know if you really put up a real smile in front of the camera. I reach home at about 6.15am. And, i sleep at 6.50am. I wake up at 1.30pm, seriously, I'm very tired! I got a friendly match yesterday and today i got training. Seriously, not i don't want to care for you. I got very little time only. I still care for you. I got training this few days and i can go back to school already. How much time can i care and accompany you? My outside club tournament is starting in 2 weeks later. Hmm, i can only meet you tomorrow. I hope you'll be free to meet me tomorrow. I don't know how to say some things, better don't say better! Ohyah, i got to apologize to her because i say i doesn't want to meet her already. Okay, i take back what I've said and i want to meet you! :D (64 days of waiting ):

I guess I'm not the one you're looking for. Hmm, i guess i doesn't have to meet you tomorrow or other days. Because I'm not the one you're searching for. I'm not giving up, still! Its very difficult for me to forget you. I know you still love him, i never force you to forget him. I will give you time to forget him. I don't care how long it takes. And, i want you to be happy from today onwards. I don't want you to stay inside the dark hole. Set yourself free! You're the who let me know what's called love. You're the one who let me know what's called pain. I understand the feeling you're feeling in the past. Yes, i might have been in love before but i have never felt so strong. One thing you can be sure of, I'll never ask for more then your love. The world may change my whole life thru but nothing gonna change my love for you. How can i move on when I'm still in love with you? I only can blame myself, but that won't ease the pain away. I'll be waiting, patiently. I'll wait right here for you. Life for me is not the same, there's no one to talk to. Hmm, how will i see when your love brought me to light. :/ (63days of waiting)

I just put a rose on my hand. I just realise i still got school next year. How am i going to hide it? Hmm, sigh! Actually, learning to let go is a good start already. Keep it up alright. :D I'll be waiting for you, still. So, i'm waiting for another answer. You know, I'm really happy you text me just now. I don't know what else i can say, except a sweet smile on my face. There's always a second chance to everything in life! So, get yourself out of the dark hole and you'll be free. Remember, no more foolish stuffs. Don't hurt yourself by looking down on yourself, don't keep reprimand yourself when you're not in the wrong. Get it? I sound like auntie, but all i want to say is. You're still the one i love the most! :) (62days)

I've got to know about your past before i know you. I know you doesn't want it. I don't want to see you like this. Cheerup can? No one got the right to change you. I got no right to say you also. Don't care about what the passerby say. They're just shit. There's this auntie talking to me now, she told me many things and stuffs. I slowly understand how you feel and there are many difficulties you're facing with. Leave all those unhappy stuffs aside and continue with your life. I know said is easier then done. but, you can try to let go slowly. Once you're out of the dark world, you'll slowly feel that you're no longer that stress like last time already. Hmm, I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow. If you doesn't want me to have tattoo. Text me! I'll be waiting for your text, if you really still care for me. If you don't, then that's nothing much i can talk about already. Sigh! (61days)


>To you: Stop all your nonsense! Your words are not going to pull her down. I believe she won't be beaten down by your words so easily. Try harder if you wanna pull her down.

How are you? I text you, you didn't reply. If you're still angry or sad about the tag board, i tell you what, i just closed my blog alright. I don't want to see you like this. My heartache to see you like this. Please! If there is anything I've done wrong, you tell me. There's this auntie told me that, if you're bound to be mine means you're mine, if you're not bound to be my means not mine. But, why you can't give me a chance and see whether we're suitable for each other or not. Why must you think that you'll hurt me. Why must there be so much stuff in your mind? Why must you still of the past when it has already past so long? Why?! :( (60days)



(Knock you down)!

[Keri Hilson:]
Not again
Oh this ain't supposed to happen to me

[Kanye West:]
Keep rockin and keep knockin'
Whether you're Louie Vuittonin' it up, or Reebokin'
You see the hate that they serving on a plater
So what we gon have dessert or disaster?

[Keri Hilson:]
I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Feels like I'm in a race but I already won first place

I never thought I fall for you as hard as I did (as hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinking about our life, our house and kids (Yeah)
Every morning I look at you and smile
Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down (knocked me down)

[Chorus:]
Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Ne-Yo:]
I never thought I hear myself say
Ya'll gon hate
I think I'm going to kick it with my girl today
I used to be commander-in-chief for my pimp ship flying high
Till I met this pretty little missile, who shot me out the sky

So now I'm crashing don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could go back and make it happen faster
Don't you know i would baby if I could
Miss independent, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helping me pull it, she shot bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
[ Keri Hilson Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Kanye West:]
Tell me now can you make past your caspers
So we could finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
To seem to only date the head of football teams,
And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing
We were never meant to be, baby we just happened
So please don't mess up the trick,
Hey young world, I'm the new slick rick,
They say I move to quick but we can't let this moment past us,
Let the hour glass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ashes right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
how could a goddess ask someone that's only average, for advice
O-M-G you listen to that bitch?
Woah is me, baby this is tragic
Cause we had it, we was magic
I was flying, now I'm crashing
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'ma ask him

[Keri Hilson:]
So you gotta take the good with the bad, the happy and the sad
Or will you bring the better future then I had in the past
Cause I don't want to make the same mistakes i did
I don't wanna fall back on my face again
Woah, woah
I'll admit it, I was scared to answer loves call
Woah, woah
And if it hits, better make it worth the fall

(When it comes around)

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around (comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love comes knocks you down

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down

I know you still got read my blog, i want to tell you here. I really never say you did and stuffs. You're not at fault, you are not the one that always being blamed by others. I'm not happy when you're being hated. I don't care about how others feel, i just want you to feel happy. You do have an attitude, but i believe you also doesn't want it. A person can change, a habit can change and attitude also can change. I don't see any wrong if you have attitude. I, myself also got attitude problem. So, does it mean everyone hates me? You can be happy, sad, emo and etc. The most important thing is you are not being controlled by others. You are yourself. You have the rights to do what you want and others got no right to interfere. People might say your imperfect. No one is perfect at all. Everyone got their good and bad points. Its just, how others going to look at it. Frankly speaking, after knowing her for quite long. I don't really understand her, i doesn't know what she want. It's the same, nobody knows what i want. I know you're being betrayed by guys and some stuffs. I keep it mute because i doesn't want to let others say and people talk behind your back. Why do you want me to listen to others? I told you, i believe you. That doesn't help me a lot. It will hurt me more when i saw you writing those to me. I didn't doubt you, at all. I still trust you like how i do. The only thing that hurt me the most is, i still can't forget the way you look at him. This post is specially wrote to you. I just want you to know how i feel and hope you will understand me. I did not choose to give up! (59days)

I saw her yesterday and today. We didn't talk at all. I don't know what to say and i got no courage to just look at her. I really never give up on her. I don't bear to let go. I scare i make a wrong decision again. That's why, my friend told me you not good, but i choose to believe myself that it won't goes wrong. I just now went drinking. Only two things can let me don't think about all this stuffs. Drinking and basketball. I really don't know what's she thinking. I want to understand her and stay by her side when she need someone. Today is already (58days) How can i touched her and make her love me? Sigh! I always put on a smile. Do you people know how difficult to put on a fake smile, I doesn't want to say anymore. Let nature takes its course! :'( i 've been crying at home for the past few days at home. (58days)

I really don't know what my parents want. Hmm, i didn't go home, they scold. When i'm home, they won't talk to me and they'll give a irritating face. I really don't know what they want. I have a home as if i doesn't have a home like that. Who have been treating me well in my family? Only one! My elder brother. I got no cash he will give me and he won't hesitate. What about them? Why do you want money? They ask stupid stuff and make me feel irritated. I'm not going home tonight. I can post now is because they not at home. From now onwards, i don't have parents. They are DEAD! :| won't be posting tomorrow. See whether i got go home or not. That's all. Byebyebyebye!! (57days)



I wonder how are you doing outside? You remove your plurk and tagboard. You didn't update your blog. I don't have the courage to ask you anything because.. I don't know why also. This feeling has been with me for the past few days and i hate this kind of feeling. What's more, there's 3 cases coming. I don't know what i should i do and i don't know how to prevent it from happening. If anything really happen to me. You got to take goodcare of yourself. Hmm, bye!

(15.09.2009)
I was drinking at 216 coffee shop near keat hong market. And, a lot of people there are friendly. Is not the first time i go down but is the first time i saw all the old uncle there. Therefore, we got to introduce ourselves. After doing stuffs, we started to drink, order food and everything. We went kaiyuan house and stay. I sleep at 2 plus and woke up at 4.44am! When i woke up, i saw raymond scolding some people and doing a cute face. When they wake up, everybody prepare and we went to take cab, i need to go home and changed. Hmm, we went out again to slack and play poker cards and mahjong. We can play it everywhere we like. Midnight, went to my house downstair and play candles. Only got kaiyuan, raymond, jesmond, szekiat and me. After playing all went home to sleep. :D (55days)
(16.09.2009)
I just wake up and post. My head is spinning and i got no strength over my whole body. Going out to ball later. Yes, i can vent my anger on others. I just wanted to let you know, I've been waiting for you 56 days. Frankly speaking, i don't know why i can't give up on you when others keep calling me to give up on you. I've give up once and the decision i made I've regret. I doesn't want to regret again or getting any false hope. Text me when you really have feelings for me. I'll be waiting for your text. If you still care for me too. Hmm, i didn't cherish what i have last time, when she was talking i was like, doing my own things? If another chance is given to me, i make sure I'll treasure it! :\ (56days)

I tried to give up, but i find it i cannot because i still love you.

(14.09.2009)
It's repeating the same thing everyday. Sleep very late but wake up very early. I don't know why and i think this is going to be continue again and again. Sigh.. I just got no mood to talk to anyone. Hmm,
(13.09.2009)
I just reach home, just now drink at coffee shop with guys. I was drinking till like hell. Dying soon. Hmm, I'm not sure who you're talking about. But, i can say I'm no longer the one you used to know. I'm no longer the same. I've changed. Changed to become a heartless person. You're the only one that can changed me back. From now, today onwards. If i go out and fight with others, I'll make sure that guy bleeds and say sorry to me. I don't know why, but things seems to be changing and many things happened recently. I'm sorry to jesmond, zhengkai, Raymond, jinzhi and szekiat. I've bring you all to a wrong path. Even though you guys didn't say it out. I still can feel that you all are worried. You all keep telling me. I in, you all follow. But, what if one day things really happened and you all still got your girlfriend? I got no girlfriend. I'm fine with it, though. I got police case before and you guys don't have except for szekiat. Since you all can change why not choose another pathway to go. I'm in, i can no longer out. Cherish what you have now and don't ever regret again. (54days)

(To my closest bro, Jesmond) If lyn really doesn't want you to join, don't join then. I rather you treat her well and cherish what you have right now then losing everything in the end. This is a very difficult pathway for me to go. But, i still have to go. No choice for me to choose already. I'm sorry!

(To Jiahui) I really never blame you at all. I know there are some stuffs you keep thinking about. Sometimes, just let yourself relax and think on the positive side. Always remember, if others didn't look down on you. You CANNOT look down on yourself! Stay strong. I'm putting all these aside because you've already told me in the message. I'll still be waiting and just hope you'll be cheerful everyday. Hope you find someone you love soon. Take care! I'm sorry too..

I can't sleep. Yes, i sleep. At 5.45am. Woke up at 9am. I hope everything goes well for her. I didn't blame you at all. I need you, you might not need me. So, good luck for finding a guy that loves you. Hmm, don't care about her/him. They got no right to judge you and be yourself. If you feel that what you do is right then is right. :\ from the day i promise you I'll be waiting, i didn't regret and give up at all. I did give up once, but i realise my decision was wrong. And, i din't give up again. Sigh! (53days)



I once ask you, if you got feelings for me. You told me yes, you got! I was so happy at that time.. You once told me you never love me before. My was break into pieces. As i said, i never blame you at all. If you're happy, i am happy for you too.

Hello! :D woke up at 4 plus. Text her at 7pm? I was having dinner at 7.30pm and i went out with my brother. When the dish are served out, i was happily smiling to my families. But, i suddenly receive a text from _ _ _ _ _ _ and said it's not okay for us to be more then friends. I can persevere all the way till now is because i love you. How did i made it? I've been finding ways to touched you and show you that i can wait for you and sacrifice my everything. I did my promise to you that i won't make wrong decision again because I've done wrong once. I don't want to repeat my mistake again. And now, I really don't know what to say. It has been 52 days since your exams start. I told you I'll wait and i did. Since, you have already made up your mind. I respect your decision and I'll still continue to wait. Maybe you won't come to my blog again but I'll post everyday and i remember how long I've been waiting. (52days)

Everyone detest me. Everybody is looking down on me. Not only others. Even me, i'm looking down on myself. Sigh! I only can know how she's doing by her blog. I always wanted to ask, but i just don't have the courage. When i ask, i always ask the wrong question. :( I really don't know how to make her happy or rather don't let her feel so stress.






(Tell me where it hurts)

I know, i got no rights. I should know my limits. And, i know i'm over the line. But, i was just feeling kinda jealous. Hmm, just doing a short post and i'm lazy to upload terence sec1 photo. Next time yea.









Forever??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today wake up as usual. Hmm, go to school as normal. Went my class is going back for exam. OM called us to sit down and said we doesn't know how to walk like a class. We're going for our exam at different venue and he want us to walk in twos'? WTH! He called me up and say my hair is long. He ask one of my classmate to get a scissors and just cut my hair as if he is cutting his own plants. Get darn irritated and go to the washroom and wash up. Get prepare and went to exam room. Get ready for my exam. That's all for today. Going to trim botak later! Bye.





It's your birthday so I know
you want to riiide out,
Even if we only go to myyy house
Sip mo- weezy as we sit upon myyy couch
Feels good, but I know you want to
cryyy out
You say you want passion
I think you found it
Get ready for action
Don't be astounded
We switchin' positions
You feel surrounded
Tell me where you want
your gift, girl
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
I've been feenin'
Wake up in the late night...dreamin' about your lovin'
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles or cake
just need your body to make good

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It's the best day of the year, girl

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot
See you sexy and them jeans got me
on 10
1-2-3, think I got you pinned
Don't tap out...fight until the end
Ring that bell; we gon start over again
We grindin' wit passion, cuz it's yo birthday
Been at it for hours...I know you thirsty
You kiss me so sweetly...taste just like Hershey's
Just tell me how you want yo gift, girl
First I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep until I know I pleased
that body (body ah oop)
Or girl without a broom
I might just sweep you off your feet
And make you wanna tell somebody
(body, how I do)
somebody body how i do
Or maybe we can float on top my water bed you close your eyes as i impry between your legs
We work our way from kitchen stoves, and tables
Girl you know I'm more than able to please, yeah
Say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed)
But you got me and now it's on again

(it's the best day of the year, girl)
(lemme know what it feels like, feels like, when I hit that G-spot, G-spot)

School was normal and nothing happened, :D the only thing I'm unhappy about is the second paper I'm having today. I did not complete the whole paper and it was due to LACK OF SLEEP! This exam takes up to 45 marks and i didn't complete it. :( today, while i was doing my first paper. My tears just suddenly drop down and teacher ask me what happened. When i was done with my paper. Teacher ask me out and talk to me. I didn't talk much and just walk away. Like what you said, not everything can be said so easily. Now i understand, sorry for not understanding you at that time. Hmm, my mood wasn't good at all. Tomorrow is my maths paper. Maths is a fear to me. I don't know how to overcome this fear. I'm afraid that i just can't go back to school next year. A lot of thing is troubling me right now. :O nobody can talk to.






哭了　才發現自己真的受傷了
你曾對我說你永遠是我的。
為了愛情我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快樂　我就快樂

也許,是我們彼此都太年輕了
總是特別容易沉溺在愛情裡
每當我再次看到身邊美麗的花火，
你已離開我　我還是想對你說：

baby I love u so much, 你走了我的心在淌血
baby u hurt me so bad,想要你回到我的世界
baby I love u so much, 你給我的諾言已經瓦解
baby u hurt me so bad

只要我們都愛著無論多苦都值得　說好的你怎麼忘記了

I had a hard time doing her name. (: although is raining yesterday night, i was sweating and sneezing while doing those candles. When she see it, what i feel was very happy because she was smiling so happily. I know is not very nice, i don't like art. So, i can't do very well. Hmm,

Tomorrow is her exams and i don't know what to say to her but just wish her good luck. Hmm, I'm just waiting for her exams to be over. I want to give her time, she got a lot of stress! Because of her class and stuffs. I'm stress too. All about her, i don't want her to hurt herself. I just made her unhappy yesterday. I've apologize to her and she didn't reply me. ): I sincerely apologize here! I'm sorry!


Now i see, what love means. It's so unbelievable, that i don't wanna let it go. It's something so beautiful, flowing down like a waterfall. I fell like you've always been, forever a part of me. And, its so unbelievable, to finally be in love, somewhere i thought I'd be. In my heart, in my head it's so clear now. Hold my hand and you got nothing to fear now. I was lost and you've rescued me, somehow I'm alive. I'm in love and you've complete me. When i think of what i have, and this chance i nearly lost and i can't help but breakdown and cry!